[ the ball is in your court ]

2003-05-02T06:21:00.000-07:00

[move]
i've moved: smile-forme.diaryland.com
cos diaryland is soo much easier to use. heh. stupid me. dunno how to use html =X

2003-05-01T04:18:00.000-07:00

[drive]
study study study study study study study study study study study study study study
study study study study study study study study study study study study study study
study study study study study study study study study study study study study study
study study study study study study study study study study study study study study
study study study study study study study study study study study study study study
study study study study study study study study study study study study study study

i'm hoping that by seeing the word study. i'll drive it into myself to study. yes starting now. i'll study. i WILL i MUST

2003-05-01T04:16:00.000-07:00

[is that an ache or sprain?]
i thought my muscles were aching bcos of trg. but its been like a day and a 1/4 and my right thigh is hurting more than ever. its the exact same hurting "sensation" when i injured my thigh thingy in p6. it suddenly dawned upon me that if my muscles were aching it would probably be both legs? from not stretching enough and all. it was.. but now its just my right. what is i pulled my muscle or something? bleah. scary =X my whole body is still aching though.

2003-05-01T04:11:00.000-07:00

[dreaming can't hurt]
i went to turf city for dinner cos i had to come home and study [consequence of spending too much time online. couldn't go out but not that i want to]. anyhow, i dreamed of meeting her there. i know you can't dream when you're awake its more like envisioned? then i realized she doesn't even live in the area so there is about a 0.01% chance of her being there. there is a loose screw in my brain.

2003-05-01T01:38:00.000-07:00

[tuesday]

i'm still thinking about tuesday.
tuesday was a good day.
the tests were fine the lessons were good what happened to my bliss?
i'm heavily addicted to the word bliss

after school i stayed back and fooled around shooting and playing. ms ng was trying to be a shooter so that she can help the shooters better. (: was trying out new moves she learnt. the backward pass thingy is cool. i finally can do it! - beams - "would be very cool if we could do that during a game." (: yep. i think so too. i couldn't run in my stupid school shoes so i took them off and ran barefooted. i still can't believe that my sister bought the same shoes as ms ng. weird =X not used to seeing them on my sister's feet cos i'm too used to seeing ms ng's shoes [that's cos i look down more than i look up] my uniform was drenched with perspiration that led ms tay [corrine] into believing i was playing in the rain. ms ng confirmed i wasn't. heng. later kena trouble. phew. i'm not so immature like some people! -rolls eyes- [i wonder who] i had to go home to go for 3rd lang. she had to go to ac. elsa wanted to go home. ms ng made elsa wait for us to go first. and 74 takes forever to come cos we missed the bus while strolling down the hill. i was going to be late so i suggested taking a taxi. arhhh.. she looked thru my file and saw all my test results. =X bleah. heng i hadn't gotten my ch test back at that time. talk about relief. she wouldn't accept my money. so i jus left it in the taxi. hahah. i have my ways.. it was raining. i stopped at dover. got drenched coming home. walking in the rain isn't exactly my favourite activity. but that day was just so good a day nothing could bring me down. the raindrops running down your body clenses your soul. makes you feel free. the perfect bliss. clique as it may be it is still true. arh. i can't stand it. ms ng is like juliana. they say the exact same corny lines and they both do the "dot your head/jinx" thing! arghhhhhhhh. "what brain?" "louisa isn't that your home?" [it was a stinky rubbish truck] i won't go into detail. it was torture.. no it wasn't. it was FUN =) but now it isn't. now the world's all sad and gloomy.

2003-05-01T01:27:00.000-07:00

[lit]
lit
lit
lit
lit
i must study lit
i don't understand why we always have test immediately after public holidays. i can't enjoy my hols that way
):
our class timetable must be cursed

2003-05-01T01:19:00.000-07:00

feeling better than yesterday.
anyhow. i didn't realize that practically the whole team knows.
shit. ethel.. its okae. its not your fault.
yesterday was really a day of tear stricken people includ. myself.
although i'm still largely at lost cos i have no part in it so i dunno why i'm was/am so sad
guess when someone in the team is down. i'm down too. ):
-ponders-

2003-05-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

mel tried to fix my blog. the damage is unfixable. heh. thnx anyway. (:

2003-04-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2003-04-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

[determination]
i will study today.
i won't repeat what happened last week.
i'm going to survive sec 2.
i have no idea how i'm going to succeed in the course of my life if i can't even cope with sec 2 life.

11.30 [now] - online and lit
1 - bathe/lunch
3 - lit
4 - hist
5 - lit
5.30 - exercise
7 - dinner
8 - lit
9- maths/hist
do you think i'll be able to keep it up?
2e-ians. did i forget anything? any hw?

2003-04-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

[adoration]
now i know what its like to adore someone. somewhat like an idol or whatever. just not as close. during the weekend we were sad. on mon and tues happy. wed.. the day's just disastrous. all around were crying faces. you and i were just part of them.

this is hanging in the air. i don't care neither should you =P

2003-04-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

[crying in the dark]
i still don't know why i cried yesterday

2003-04-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

[living in a bliss?]
i don't know why and i wouldn't even attempt to solve the mysteries of life. but sometimes i feel so frustrated over the littlest things. why do i let them bother me? you say you don't know, so do i. why can't i just ignore everything - live in a bliss?

"if you give up - half the battle's lost". i tell that to my team. ms ng says that to us. but why wouldn't i believe it myself. i'm a perfect eg of hypocrite. going arnd preaching things that i don't do/believe in myself. i constantly on people's backs for better attitude and confidence in theirselves. look who's talking? valen says i have low self-esteem. i need approval for everything i do. its just another one of those flaws. you get them free in the house of the lord if you must know ):

i don't even know how to explain this. i'm just re-reading what i type over and over again. the english is pathetically immature but i'm so not in the mood to care. i'm in the lowliness of lowliness. my throats blocked. i'm swallowing my tears. but really i've no problem in particular. there's nothing particularly wrong with my life. any outsider would think its just perfect bliss. "in sooth i know not why i am so sad.. but how i caught it foud it, or came by it, what 'tis made of, whereof it is born, I am to learn". i finally understand antonio. -gmta- mag says i'm pessimistic. me, the hypocrite replies: "i only know how to say ""positive attitude". i don't know how to practice".

why do i always allow everything good to just escape from my grasp? where is that vice-like grip i not so long ago had? i am guai-er when i'm not a prefect. now i am. i feel like breaking every single rule. i live by the saying "rules are meant to be broken". when i'm [c] my attitude is just so negative. the utmost ability i have is to say: "don't go behind your defender. grab the ball [don't think dirty] go for it. blahblahblah.." but do i do it? the more i say the more i prove myself a hypocrite. maybe i should just shaddddup and leave others to do the talking. but the min. i do that. i get in trouble for doing that. i'm not making any sense am i? good.. i like it that way [sadistic's my name]

2003-04-30T06:29:00.000-07:00

[tumultuous]
tumultuous day. it started off with me feeling nervous about something that i had no idea about.
1) my heart was racing.
2) i couldn't sit still.
3) i needed to go to the loo.

agitated maths was boooring. chinese sucked. got our test papers back.. my paper was filled with more red and green than anything - you'd think its christmas. and no.. i don't find it funny. -haha-. it would have been all still and quiet for mourning but no mr heng came along. he thinks autumn leaves and swirls [water-like] cohere. they so don't xiang de yi zhang. "i got a star for spas" as tessa says. oh yeah! hooray for me. i made a new discovery that you can see the refraction of light through a glass block if you use the converging lens of the light box. however "heroic" i still didn't know how to label my angles. bleah. crapped my way through the home ec test. home econs is really a test of common sense. it does help anyhow to read thru the txtbk. something i fail to do consistently.

how many red faces did i see today..? is today a good day for crying or what? i may not know the problem but hope everyone is a-okay (:
its the time of life when everything is so not a "fluffy cloud world, with rainbows in the sky, and music on the trees". when one "problem" is solved the next comes along. perhaps if i could just ignore the current situtation then there wouldn't be place for another to appear? then i wouldn't have to think so much. frown so much. hey wait.. i do that all the time anyway..

"I'm finding out what's left of you, you're burning out
What's left of you? Choking on doubt, you're choking
Way down way down now what's left of you

See no fear, speak no evil
Are you screaming out to no one as you fall down a mountain of pride
I feel you, my eyes wide open
I feel you, do you think you can save yourself in time?"
-Kills Gavity- [Down]

2003-04-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

[school blues]
science lesson now. i'm so legally blogging away. everyone else around me is donig crap too. jemma's playing neopets. now i know where her character influence comes from. hahah. kiddin' =P got back science n maths test today. today is a good day. i passed everything... including maths. mrs poh wrote something like "good improvement. keep on perserving" sighhh.. she probably thinks I'm a hopeless case.

2003-04-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

[ (: ]
for the first time a numerous weeks, i didn't go online yesterday. you must be so proud of me -beams- =)

2003-04-28T22:23:00.000-07:00

[test.test.and.more.test]
bleah. when a teacher says, "I'm about to return your test papers." I think, "what test?" My life's so pathetic it consists of the little joys of receiving test papers [with lil stickers on them]

2003-04-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

[blogging tool]

You are a highly intelligent person but you always keep a low-profile. You are going to be famous someday.

Which Blogging Tool Are You?

2003-04-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

[muackxx]
thanx nah. i know u dun read my blog and all. but doing the homeEc proj wiv you was a definite pleasure. i mean yes. i actually laughed and am feeling in a really good mood now. in the midst of this long, tiring, complicatin week, finally have smt that is all fluff and bubbles to look up to. thanx (: [pondering over wad mrs yue would think of wad we wrote heh heh]

2003-04-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

[dorks]
my eyes are all blurry from staring at the computer screen for countelss hours. [yes i do know that hours can be counted. its an expression you dork!] bleah. home econs. stupid CASE [consumers association of singapore] investigative work. if CASE is so effection having claimed to have claimed $2.4m for their consumers. then why hasn't someone told Carol Young to gimme redress for my terrible haircut - my everyday occurence of a bad hair day. in fact i don't care about the redress. i just want my hair back. -throws.tantrum- wahhhhhhhhhh..

2003-04-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

[screwed]
my msn is not working. my email's screwed. cannot open the inbox. cannot excess gbks.
i have no reason otherwise to not believe that technology is out to get me for abusing it by my over-usage

2003-04-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

[letter]
its amazing how much better you feel when u've penned out your thoughts. and even though i haven't even given her the letter. i already feel much better. but that's only the solution to one problem. but i don't know. student give a teacher a letter? weird =X

2003-04-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

[11am]
passing time before i can call pizza hut to deliver pizza. 11am faster come.

2003-04-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

[unbelievable]
i can't believe i'm just so eagarly going online everyday. w/o even considering that i have 3 test nxt wk n i haven't started studying. shit.

2003-04-25T06:23:00.002-07:00

[indescribable]
when u're lost and confused and nothing you say comes out the way you want it to. what i feel is unexpressable and i'm lost for words.

2003-04-25T06:23:00.001-07:00

[pls.. don't]

pls.. don't feel the way you do
pls.. don't think i'm [wer're] taking you for granted
pls.. don't leave me [us] hanging in the air
pls.. let me try to explain
pls.. let us start over again

i treasure you for what you do
i like you for who you are
i can't speak face-to-face [its hard to with a higher authority]
i hope you don't think i was being rude
i really am lost at thought
i don't know what to do

p.s. - this is not meant to be a poem of any sort. just stuff starting wiv the same word bcos i simply feel like it.

2003-04-25T06:23:00.000-07:00

[conflict]
i don't wanna seem like i'm trying to solve things single-handedly.
i don't wanna seem like it bothers me too much
i don't wanna seem like it doesn't matter at all
i don't wanna seem to be the only one who wants to change
i don't wanna seem like the only one with the frustration
i don't want us to be divided because of internal conflicts
.. because of me
.. that i'm different and do things wo xing wo shu
you act like you're better than i.. maybe you are
but in times like this
we need to stick together

2003-04-24T00:04:00.000-07:00

[~~hurt~~]
hurt is not the word to describe what i feel. why would i be hurt? i'm a heartless b**** with a face of stone. its more like frustrated. lyk nah says. you don't wanna do anything but the situation will just get better on its own. i would post more of my twisted up entries but i have ting xie geog test n i gotta go for 3rd lang now. yah. good riddance of louisa. *poof*

2003-04-23T04:52:00.000-07:00

[dearest operationdominatrix]

"we are going to revolutionise 2e!
to free this class from colonial oppression
[operationdominatrix] ha ha. success shall be ours."

congratulations. success has indeed been granted to you. not by us. by me. so take it not against my friends but me, myself, a single individual. "colonial oppression" has been suppressed so don't you fret not. partially sealed lips during lessons. say nothing because hey! everything i say comes out wrong.

this may be a teeny harsh but i'm just sticking up for my friends [i..no cos i dun give a damn about wad ppl think no more.. find it depressing and worrying for no good cause] we tried to get participation but who actually responds.. silence... silence... silence.. -silence means consent- maybe they care so much hence their unresponsive nature. maybe we care too much hence our overwhelming noise/arguements/opinions.

for e.g. no one chose to elect our chair n vice xcept us maybe that's why. and maybe no one opposed? then we changed. bcos we're just too unwanted. so mrs lim had a say in that. so don't say we did the changing for our benefit. anyhow now that she's vice, she is a channel by which her friends or the class can speak up thru if they don't dare to themselves right? there are reasons for the choice you know... let's say science. agreed. my head is just way too big and my voicebox way too active sitting upfront. hence tessa was behind me and hannah moved to the bench instead or sitting right right in frnt. history. i shan't do the play anymore unless forced. besides its not like we volunteered to act right? you think we want to? go act yourself. i'll be more than pleased. [i said i'll not anyone else don't get me wrong] p.e. run slower don't talk to mr ong what else would like to add to the list? i mean.. now that we got a few.. might as well make it a lot. eng. laugh n talk too much. don't worry i'm sure she already hates me so don't fuss over this. maths n chinese. i don't say anything. -innocently- "should we?" geog. lame jokes. should be oppressed but that's not done by me i'll bring it up to her alrighteee? lit. nope not us doing the muchmuch talking.

ok. now i'm done wiv my rambling. feel free to correct me bcos mine is a bias and not accurately judged judgement [sounds weird. whatever] it comes from one view and only my narrow unwise opinion. so maybe when you're done reading you can go electricute yourself so you'll forget all. don't get me wrong. i don't think you're in the wrong either. its just me and my rants. don't feel "oppressed" by us and speak your opinions. we're not intimidating.. or are we? its not like we volunteered to be prefects. go blame the trs for agreeing. oh wait.. blaming others is not right so let's just say everything i have said is my.. and only my fault bcos i'm just not open enough. not giving enough chances for participation. and just not trying hard enough to get the participation. yes. its all my fault. ):

"[operationdominatrix]. i think we have to put in a lot more caution."

don't worry you put in more than enough caution. you overated me dude. i'm so dense i didn't see it coming. just lost in my own fantasy world of gossip and crap which involves me being often the listener. you said "it was damn obvious right?" nope. not obvious enough to me. was i supposed to understand wad operationdominatrix was? but hey. now that i know. i'm too suspicious of operation scott. could be a terrorist grp out to kill me right? maybe i should just be more alert. then again. i don't mind seeing the light at the end of my tunnel RIGHT NOW!

signed,
-confused n ashamed-
[i can't do anything. i keep thinking about this. trying to see where we went wrong. and what amends can be made..]
p.s - read the i(s) and we(s) as all 'i's. it just sounds wrong saying i at some places hence the relunctant choice of using we. but take it not against us but i.

2003-04-23T02:39:00.000-07:00

[problematic]
i dunno if that's how problematic is spelt or even if there's such a word. all i know i was so depressed during school. urgh. class problems. trg problems. the list goes on... if you don't like the way we are [not that it's your fault. its just the damn twisted reasoning of nature] you didn't have to discuss it wiv the whole class. its scary you know. when the whole class suddenly gangs up against you. no one says anything when we ask their opinion.. we've tried obviously not hard enough. let us try again okae? a brand new day brings about a brand new start...

2003-04-23T02:35:00.000-07:00

[copycat]
my sister is a copycat she copies everything other peole do. no orginallity. rach she bought the LCM's coco pops kaleidos whatever you call it thingy u brought to my place that day. just ate one. qt nice larh. but still its like can't stand it when ppl simply copy ripping u off man.. she always buys the same clothing/stationary/books that i do or my other sis do. bleah. irritating.

2003-04-22T06:06:00.000-07:00

.. i am lost for words.. let alone word [lame =P]

2003-04-22T06:02:00.000-07:00

[test test and more test]
if you flip through my notebook you'll find that in the past 2 days i've covered almost 2 pgs of nothing but test dates. at least the trs are keeping to the 3 test a week rule. but i dunno how long that's gonna last. [ponders] hmmm..

2003-04-21T07:04:00.000-07:00

hmm.. fine change of topic. no more about hair styles..
.. nope. i can't think of anything else

2003-04-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

shittybumbum. the reactions of my friends on my newly acquainted everything-went-wrong haircut was erm.. bad? hahah. my friends were ok about it [thanx] stupid tracy n tiff.. hmph. lyn was nice/sweet bout it. thnx. netties [sec 1] lyk terrible. irritating arh ethel. luckily no teacher said anything esp. teo l.l if not i'll juz scream. kae this is a crap entry but who cares... lynette said my hair will grow but in 2 days.. yea right. my mother said a month or 2. i almost killed her. can see the obvious differences btw my pri fren n sec fren. my pri frenz think my previous hair style was too girly. my sec frenz think my current hair style is too boyish. bah. i qt lyk the previous one. hate this one. bleahbleahbleahhhhhhhhhh

2003-04-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

[an everyday occurence of a bad hair day]
an everyday occurence of a bad hair day is indeed possible when your hairdresser doesn't follow your instructions - more or less same hairstyle. cut shorter. layer the back. slope the sides a bit. don't touch my fringe. is that very hard to comprehend? mymy let me repeat that slowly again.. s.a.m.e.h.a.i.r.s.t.y.l.e.. you'll never believe the product? a disgusting shaved back which was more or less straight until i almost slaughtered her so she sloped it just a teeny bit you couldn't measure it with a protractor. my fringe got so short i can't use a hairband. i tried to stop her but hey? who am i to say anything? i'm just a little kid being experimented on? "i'm just thinning it out.. if not too thick" sheesh. i think my sister got have done a better job cutting my hair. but she's overseas. dang! so now it looks like a someone whose trying to become a butch doesn't know how to. i'm so mad i could almost collaspe from over-exertion. i can't wait for my hair to grow back. i'm never goign back there again. i'll just be haunted by memories of a lady out to destroy innonent adolescents already screwed hair. i now hope all of you undergo her skillless cutting so that i won't be the only sufferer. what happened to one for all - all for one?

2003-04-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

[my mother - the hypocrite]
"your father so stupid. your father so stubborn. your sister so stubborn. your sister so spend-thrift. your sister so naughty." my mum just makes it her business to oppose everything somebody intends to do. its like she's perfect. "your father so stupid agree to do blah that blah ask him to do, i wouldn't have done it if i were him" "your father so stubborn told him not to go to philippines he insist on going" yes yes.. make me ur anger management punch bag. "your father/sister got so low eq don't understand that blah person is sensitive about that topic" -enlightened- ohhhh.. so my mother has such a high EQ? then pls kindly explain why she doesn't sense my wanting to sleep or study or wadeva.. just tune out her berating on the unpleasantries of the world. bleah. what scares me the most is what she says about me behind her back?!?

2003-04-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

[Singapore Shivers]
the front pg of the today newspaper has a brilliant article: Singapore Shiver by Val Chua. [it reminds me of a witch-hunt. For a fleeting moment, I wished I had stayed longer in London - not because it was Sars-free but because people were more united in the face of adversity] i've felt like that for a long time. i.e: during 911 i was hallucinating and imagining it happening in Singapore. it would totally tear our country apart. everyone will go their own individual way and there will be no unity between the people. its just the way our education system is. think about it. when juli had dizzy spell had been having fever the past few nights. sick. blah. the trs made us stay away frm her? what kinda friend will abadon their in face of adversity [as the author phrases it]. so obviously we were oblivious to their comments however they themselves stayed away from her. a teacher plays a huge part in influencing us. so if their liddat -rolls eys- ain't it a wonder why our nation likes this? serious case of hiding at home and avoiding life, running away from the threats faced.

2003-04-18T04:02:00.000-07:00

What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-18T03:59:00.000-07:00

You have been involved in a shameful online RPG,
and your soul will never be clean. You've
soiled the memory of a dead author and
neglected yourself and other human beings for
months at a time; there is no way to make up
for this. The Lord has turned His eyes from you
forever!

Keep back, you utter trash!

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla
what's RPG? someone pls enlighten me -_-

2003-04-18T03:52:00.000-07:00

[anti-drugs]

Weed.
Youre the baby of the drugs.

Which drug should you be hooked on?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-18T03:46:00.000-07:00

[handphone]
yah! my grandfather doesn't want his phone anymore. he says he never uses it. so i have two phones now. both wiv cards. both my new and old no. in use now (: and now i have a fully functioning phone. how delightful (:

2003-04-18T00:23:00.000-07:00

[un-homebound-ed]
breaking news: i went to orchard road after about erm.. a month of deserting that place. bought franky's present. (: bought food.. yumyum -lickslips-

2003-04-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

[addicted]
problematic. i'm addicted to the internet yet if you ask i can't explain why. do crap. hours fly by and not a single productive thing is done. i know i shld be doing my hw my progress report sucked.
As - eng geog hist sc cs
Bs - hcl lit home ec
2Cs - maths art
stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid
mainly pissed about the Cs. bleah.

2003-04-17T05:58:00.000-07:00

[handphone+louisa=haywire]
3210 = oh yah! it survived my deadly treatment. but passed it on
8210 = screwed screen. dropped it 101 [exaggrated] times.
5210 = spoilt.. have no idea why. its supposed to be "waterproof" so shouldn't be water not that i wet it. only dropped it once or twice.. wth is wrong? so pissing
so now i have no fully functioning phone

2003-04-17T04:41:00.000-07:00

[plain pathetic]
i have nothing to say. a spastic plmg girl in my 3rd lang class attempted a pathetic try to cry b4 our test which somehow succeeded so she did not have to take the test. how childish is that?

2003-04-15T04:42:00.000-07:00

[fatigue]
black figures are looming before me. i want sleep. i'm visualizing myself sleeping. but can't. stupid malay CA n exam. they never postpone. how i know.. its on thurs. didn't even touch my book the whole hol. my eyelids are starting to close and my stare is all blank and hazy. -stoned-

2003-04-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

[thehorrorsofabortion]
grosss..we watched this abortion tape during science today. -pukepuke- the stupid doctor guy was using the most horrendous words so that people will be against abortion. it sure did work but its damn gross. they talk about crushing the baby's head and sucking the body parts out. you don't want me to go into detail do you?

2003-04-14T04:28:00.000-07:00

[plague]
interesting 1st day after a relaxing break. juli fell sick - not SARS don't worry. anyway all the teachers were like making us stay away from her but we didn't care. we're just too good a friend. (: cheryl sprained her ankle during trg. it drastically swelled up till she put ice. i bruised my wrist and it hurts to move it. well the ankle must feel worst. -always look on the bright side of life- take care all. be careful. rest well. erm.. smile?

2003-04-13T06:49:00.002-07:00

[backtoschool]
bummer. its back to school tmw. how tragic [as alicia says] noticed that the people online dropped drastically. guess i shouldn't be on too. but since when do i do what's right? -rules are meant to be broken- [don't take that to heart] anyway. have a good start tmw. sleep early and try to stay out of trouble [almost impossible] (:

2003-04-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

[save us]
jiejie. i need you back here to rebel against the parents. heh. they made arrangements for us to go to the grandparents house w/o even asking us. as in we're supposed to spend the whole day there. and to think tomorrow we have school. shouldn't we be at home preparing. bleurgh. stupid parents. don't wanna go there the whole day. what am i supposed to do there? study? then ur stupid godmother will be kpo-ing arnd. argh.

2003-04-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

[my escape]
like what the heng.. i overslept. -innocently- not purposely. honesely it was an accident. slept at 3am plus after watching | the horse whisperer | my mum forgot that i piano lesson even though i left a note on her bedside table. rewind..
10.39am -blinkblink- open eyes
10.40am -shit! i missed piano. what time is it?
.btw my piano lesson was supposed to be at 9.

2003-04-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

[If I could turn, turn back the hands of time]
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time

i'll go back to pri 4 and restart all over again. be a changed person. someone different. i'll be nicer to everyone. i won't snap. i won't bully. i won't scream valgarites across the classroom. there will be no kicking fights. no unpleasant moments.

If I could turn, turn back the hands of time

i'll relive all the joyous moments again. to be with my friends. young carefree full of innocence not a pinch of bad blood

Funny, funny how time goes by
And blessings are missed in the wink of an eye

blessed with wonderful teachers: i'll pay attention during class. no more reading books under the table. i won't deceive your trust. i'll be a better leader. i won't neglect my duties. i'll do the school proud.
blessed with trusting friends: we'll have our fun. no deceit malice just pure clean fun

Why oh why oh why should one
have to go on suffering

the consequences of being a bad student. a corrupt leader. an unworthy friend.

as I said. its my day of doing nothing. and i feel like posting crap. reliving all the pri sch moments. grace. its all your fault. posting me those letters. recalling the days in pri sch. but its impossible to turn back the hands of time and i'll do what i can to be a better person

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow old through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

2003-04-11T07:03:00.000-07:00

[strive forth vs giving up]
sometimes when i think of the pile of work or things i have to do, i feel so motivated and determined to finish them all. people say it makes you feel good knowing you've done the right thing and you'll feel a sense of satisfaction. i don't really care somehow, whether i finish my work or not. i don't always feel that "sense of sastisfaction" even if i have finished my work. its like i only do it because its right. and then again.. sometimes i think of all the things i have to do and i feel so lazy. i comfort myself that its all going to be okay. i haven't screwed up majorly and i this time won't be any different. -snorts- yep and today. i feel like giving up. i know i should study. i know i should practice my piano. but somehow i just simply do not care about the scolding i'm going to face or the panic i'll have to deal with when the time comes. its like i said i wanted to watch survivor but now i just don't feel like moving. so bah. forget survivor. its not like i have been following the episodes anyway. its just one of those days when you feel the whole world's against you and you feel like stoning and just do nothing. yep. its definitely one of those days of doing nothing. don't feel like chatting. don't feel like reading. don't feel like singing. don't feel like sleeping. don't feel like blogging.

2003-04-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

[afraid]
i have piano tmw morning. 9am to be precise.
i'm supposed to have memorised 2 pieces but have i?
no?!?! i'm going to get skinned alive. =S
haven't even finished my school hw.
but there are just too many temptations.
wanna watch survivor n the horse whisper [watched b4 tho]
yep n i still have sweet home alabama to watch on dvd which is due on sunday.
and ya. and there's always blogger i wanna sign on to to post my crap
bah! don't wanna do work.
-poutyface-

2003-04-10T06:14:00.000-07:00

went to spe/nie to run shoot train up a bit n of cos eat. we were planning to run 3.2 den we got lazy n just ended at 2.4km. so we were running kinda slow cos we thought we would be running a longer distance. hahah. suits me just fine. spent the whole morning there. came home was so exhausted and slept till 4.30. woke up n rachel made go wiv her to return her dvds/vcds. so walked to colds storage. then at video ezy who else would i meet?... my dad. talk about conincidental. n my sis too but i knew she was there. so it was like a family gathering at video ezy. so weird. came home.. bumed arnd. eat dinner. watched my big fat greek wedding n now i'm about to do my eng compo.. in other words means i haven't done any work today yet. arghhh.. stupid. got headache. getting the headflu as my mum calls it. dun feel like doing any work... as if i ever do.

2003-04-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

i need to post more entries cos' i can't stand the quizzes being the first thing you see on my blog. so ugly. stupid. but i can't bring myself to delete them so if u really must see the miserable results i got on them you can scroll down. please don't weep upon reading the pathetic and pitiful results which represent me

2003-04-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

i practiced a teeny weeny bit of piano. did a bit maths. and completed my lit assay. n now i'm online again! and guess what? its pass the allowed time. my dad set a rule that we aren't allowed to use the comp aft 1130 cos we always use until the wee hours of the morning. [i wonder why its called wee] but hey! i'm online & i'm still alive. besides i told him that today was exceptional cos i was writing my lit essay midway when he insisted he used the comp so i had to break. n now i'm making him "pu" the hours b4 1130 which i missed. and my excuse. i hate doing things halfway. hahah. i wonder if he fell for it. anyway. he's asleep. so phwat. who cares.

2003-04-09T06:12:00.000-07:00

You're nothing, really. But you're nice.

What type of music are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
hey doot. i actuallie like pop n rap. but unfort. the quiz is so lousy the options so bias [their all about going to bars n buying drinks n scaring the shit outta others] that i couldn't choose an option that actuallie fit me. but the quiz remarks actually say smt good about me. now that's a start..

2003-04-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

got into a quiz frenzy. started frm the coke quiz i saw at lyn's blog. heh.

borderline

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
whoa. chill man quiz author. i'm not self mutilating........not yet anyway.

2003-04-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Your Heart is Yellow

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
bah. was about to agree wiv this "quiz" until i read the last few lines. spastic author. have you even reached puberty yet? no.. i'm still in my diapers u dope. n the part about maturity. nothing against immaturity. but i know qt a lot of ppl who are super immature n have boyfriends. don't even bother to ask about what kind of guys they are. fortunately i believe myself more mature than them.

2003-04-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

whoooooopie! my parents left the house. i'm free to use the comp. but why do i feel so freaking guilty...maybe bcos i have yet to
1) touch my history book today
2) do my lit essay
3) do my eng compo
4) do my maths
5) practice my piano [like i ever do]

2003-04-09T05:55:00.000-07:00

What Coke Are you? Click To Find Out!

sweet and quiet don't exactly fit my personality but thanks for the compliment anyway

2003-04-09T05:31:00.000-07:00

feeling fat. went to some teppanyaki restaurant for lunch. had more than my own portion of rice. immediately after that eat bread talk. came home eat mini oreos. was supposed to go jogging to ease my guilt. but it just had to rain/drizzle continuous. so now i'm all melting away under the burden of guilt. of not exercising. n eating too much. alicia's great idea of playing ddr to jump arnd to replace jogging wasn't much help. barely did anything xcept to have to bathe n change my clothes after stinking away. oh well. at least it got me clean.

2003-04-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

my cousin came over today. all the way from thompson. just bcos no one in her family would dare pull her shaky tooth out for her. needed my 'dentist' parents to do it for her. how lame. had a good laugh over it. cos my sis used to pull out our teeth for us. didn't need to pro. especially not my parents.

2003-04-09T02:23:00.000-07:00

how highly disappointly. man u lost 3-1 to real madrid. shall always use this as a comfort when we lose a match. anyway before the game i went to bathe. watching too many movies has taught me one thing: always watch your back. so here i go at 2am walking up the stairs to my room. i knew the foolishness of keeping my back against the wall n sliding up the stairs was too riduculous so i resulted in turning my head back every few steps and checking for any "monster" behind me. eventually i just sprint up the stairs. in the bath my paranoia makes me keep my eyes on the bathroom door as i fumble behind my back to turn on n off the tap. yet i refuse to just face the shower n get over n done wiv my bath. even wiv my back "safely" against the wall, i have the slightest fear that something will just burst thru the walls. when i re-open my eyes after getting the shampoo out of my hair, my hullicinating makes my shirt hanging on the door knob suddenly appear as a moving figure. when i brush my teeth i don't only look at my teeth in the mirror but look at the mirror as a whole to watch anything behind me. i hate it when i'm alone awake on the floor cos my sis is downstairs. bah! i've watched too many late night movies. mag. i hope this is ur explaination to why i don't read horror stories. the description the books will freak me out even more

2003-04-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

i decided not to delete the previous post until 12 midnight. decided to be the indifferent person i am and let more ppl suffer under my ranting. so many days at home with no event of entertaining or interest happening thus i have nothing to post. so you can just hear me bitching about the ppl i chat with online n how infuriating they are.

2003-04-08T03:22:00.000-07:00

diaryland is down, hence my template cannot be seen according to lynette. bah! things are always under construction/upgrading etc why can't we be sastisfied the way it is? the [can't think of another word except for damn] human nature of making humans not knowing how to appreciate what they have. what happend to zhi zu chang le?

2003-04-08T03:17:00.000-07:00

linking spree:
chloe
sarah
shuping
victoria
weilin n frens
by the way. they're all my basketball mates

2003-04-08T02:38:00.000-07:00

i went to school to collect my books..again. bleurgh. stupid teachers. just have to make me do homework in books i don't have. its like they have this twisted evil plan - checked under my table and saw that i didn't bring home blahblah book so purposely assign hw frm there. its like their trying to teach me a lesson: never leave your books in school. bring them home and study study everyday. sorry. old habits die hard. done it since pri sch won't change. and as jemma says: so there. hmph. and stucks out her tongue the immature way she always does. =P

2003-04-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

i decided to go on deleting spree to obliterate [new word new word; To do away with completely so as to leave no trace] all the crappy/stupid/rubbish entries.

2003-04-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

why are all SARS patients sent to TTSH?
Take Tonic Sure Heal.
Why not SGH?
Sure Go Heaven.
Why not CGH?
Can't Go Home.
Why not NUH?
No U-turn Home.

2003-04-07T06:50:00.000-07:00

pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed
pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed
pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed
pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed
pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed
pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

2003-04-07T01:27:00.000-07:00

breaking news: tracy thinks louisa's mad

2003-04-07T00:45:00.000-07:00

teachers have been kind so far. they have not called to inform me of any homework except for science. on the other hand. it could be because their cruel and torturous and will tell us at the last minute in hope of watching us scramble around trying to complete it on time. you never know.

2003-04-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. read that on somebody's msn nick. not sure who that person is though. i have a whole lot of people on my msn list claiming to know me but i, the opposite.

2003-04-06T05:41:00.000-07:00

grandparents.uncle.aunties here eating the crepes that alicia made. not to forget my assistance in the "frying" of it. apparently our cooking n baking skills ain't bad. its my turn to cook dinner again on tuesday. made peanut butter cookies yesterday. n i think they taste rather blend but my mum n dad like them. i am honestly telling you never to buy a parent's judgement. its bias n unworthy. take my word for it. everything to them is nice. i bet their secretly puking it out behind our backs. then again we have to learn to be more trusting. maybe they really do like it. have bad taste or something.

2003-04-06T00:29:00.000-08:00

have decided to get my lazy ass out of the chair and rest my poor eyes from the glare of the computer screen. shall go running with cheryl at NIE. never ran there before. will be an interesting experience. at least i hope it will be. a break from the road and the jogging track where bicycles weave recklessly in and out of innocent runners like rachel and i.

2003-04-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

bored out of my wits. its sunday afternoon once again. the weather varies from a scorching sun to a merciless rain whenever it pleases. i sit at home with nowhere to go and nothing to do. please. don't let my boredom devour me. save me from it. be a kinda samaritan. [pleads] i'm honestly just sitting in front of the computer racking my brains for something to write or do but as juliana says.. what brain? thus the solution to my problem has not arrived

2003-04-05T22:22:00.000-08:00

is it coincidental that i was reading the section about menustration in my science textbook n i now have my mensus. the twisted fate of nature

2003-04-05T19:49:00.000-08:00

my stupid counter had some problem or other. had to reset it.

2003-04-05T19:40:00.000-08:00

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today
.................[beautiful; christina a.]

even with a pimple right smack on the middle of my nose. huge eyebags that have developed over the years. Yes words can't bring me down. cos i'm beautiful in every single way.

2003-04-05T07:33:00.000-08:00

i lie, i decieve. i deny my true feelings. i never tell the opposition the real reason for my respective actions. i believe its something to do with self-consciousness. damn me & self-consciousness. they deserve to know how i'm feeling.

2003-04-05T06:52:00.000-08:00

triple chocolate pie. i'll say that again triple chocolate. just the name of it gives me the creeps. think about the amount of fat. damn. why do i still enjoy eating it.
alicia:"It'll make you grow trice the size".
thanks for the vote of encouragement on my eating habits

2003-04-05T06:14:00.000-08:00

new link:
alicia
sarahb (benjy)

2003-04-05T05:56:00.000-08:00

""that simply shows how much they wanna "train" its up to their own discipline ultimately who will be the one losing out""
pls don't let anyone ever say that about us again. discipline yourself. focus on finishing the task at hand. don't give up and never say ~~can't~~.

2003-04-05T05:53:00.000-08:00

red chucks

2003-04-05T05:49:00.000-08:00

you are a science fiction novel

what type of book are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-05T05:38:00.000-08:00

"The world is a quivering morbid mess". Such cynical comments recurring again and again yet i find it pleasantly entertaining to read. [take it as a compliment mind you] i adore your use of the english language. Is it me? Am i becoming ghoulish? Or is that just how human nature is?

2003-04-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

the extension of the holidays has brought an unexplainable delight to my heart. i hope it has to yours too

2003-04-04T02:56:00.000-08:00

thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you

2003-04-02T10:35:00.000-08:00

good night blog

2003-04-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

new links:
>innocence
>basketball
>horse riding
>KL sports trip
>sec 1

2003-04-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

once again. everyone has deserted me. and left me online all alone
scanning pictures

2003-04-02T07:41:00.000-08:00

this is gross.
i went down for supper.
opened the choc milk i bought.
milked it with normal milk.
drank.
puked.
well not literally puked.
but it was gross.
sour & all.
can die.
if i get food poisoning.
i'll just __________
i'm officially freaked out by milk.

2003-04-02T05:22:00.000-08:00

valen:
sorry i had to go
parents came home

2003-04-02T05:09:00.000-08:00

fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it
fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it
fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it
fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it
fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it

2003-04-02T04:43:00.000-08:00

~~watching first touch~~
over

2003-04-02T03:48:00.000-08:00

30min jog [ / ]
500 skips [ / ]
45 situps [ ]
30 pushups[ ]

2003-04-01T22:23:00.000-08:00

UNDER CONSTRUCTION
[hint. you know i need your help]